Epiphany

Some days are just like the others – you lift the weight, you rack the weight. You do your best and you feel satisfied with that. I like these days because I feel I'm making progress as I lean into my comfort zone. (I just coined that) I call these 'Steady Eddy' days. I made progress and took another step along the thousand-mile journey. Then there are other types of days – difficult, tortuous growth experiences like this and this and high-flying days when a breakthrough occurs in technique or ability. Like today.

This morning we worked on strength training and our main entrée was front squats. Three rep rounds, building to three sets of single tries. I love squats. I never used to be able to say that but I can now with conviction. I fell in love with them when Mia taught me how to squat properly. Before, I was doing a bodybuilder squat – narrow stance, legs hardly bent as I descend into a half squat and then back up. A waste of time, really. Now, I have the proper stance and I go right down into the bottom position. Ass to the grass. When the muscles stretch in the bottom position, the lifter can take advantage of the bounce and EXPLODE upwards, lifting with the hips. Working at Crossfit Langley with Coach Clarke and Mia has improved my technique (and enjoyment) a thousandfold.

I had the bar loaded up with my max lift and descended into the squat. I just felt like I couldn't do it and did a half-squat, then quickly racked the bar. I felt cheated. My lifting partner Mike took me aside. "You psyched yourself out. I could see you looking in the mirror at the weights and you backed off. Don't look at your face – listen to your body."

Good advice it turns out. I got under the weight again, descended into a FULL squat, not looking in the mirror but just straight ahead and putting my mind inside my body. I listened to it and drove upwards with my hips, still not looking in the mirror. I lifted that HEAVY bar with proper form and I did it handily. A new PR for me. So what was different? The bar was no lighter and I was no stronger. Gravity still works. It was my focus. I stopped looking at my outer self, instead looking inward to my body mechanics, and trusted that I would know what to do. And it did.

Which brings me to my epiphany. It's simple – stop looking in the mirror. I read that in Starting Strength but it didn't sink in until Mike pointed it out. My best lifts are outside or at the rack not pointed at the mirror. Noting form while practicing is fine, but under weight, the focus should be on lifting, not watching myself.

The second part of my epiphany is that it doesn't matter how much weight is on the bar. The value of knowing what you've loaded is to measure your performance, during the WOD and over time. It's just a tool used to affect your body and produce the reaction you want, in my case it's power. So, my 166lb personal best today might be less or more than your personal best. Irrelevant if we've both had a great workout. And when I started thinking about that it became clear what my goals should be. I can hold out an icon in front of me of the body that I want or the strength I wish to have and that is my vision that keeps pulling me forward. But my real goal, the one that I can work towards every single WOD, is to lean into my comfort zone and push just a little more weight, do one more pull-up, run a bit further and faster. The next step is always just slightly out of reach and achievable in the short-term. Next week, it will be just slightly out of reach and I take another step along the journey.

Workout of the Day

Front Squat
3-3-2-2-1-1-1 (135lb, 135 lb, 146lb, 146 lb, 166lb, 166lb, 166lb*) The * was my full squat repeat.

As many rounds in 10 minutes: (4 rounds)
12 push ups
10 kipping pull-ups (round 1-3, round 4 was jumping)
8-weighted sit-ups feet anchored #30db behind the head (30lb, 30lb, 25lb, 15lb)
4-sandbag to shoulder power cleans 77lbs